Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Latest of My Poetic Brilliance

Because I like to show off how extremely gifted I am with words, here is a poem I sent to my friend Dani:

Dear dani, nice fanny
but I shouldn't say that.
I meant to say, you have a nice hat.
That man over there, he is quite fat.
Unfortunately he just sat on a cat.
And it went ker-splat.
well first it meowed,
quite loud.
I apologize for my violence,
here, lets have a moment of silence.
...
...
...
well that's that.

dear dani,
the granny,
well, not yet.
I hope the length of this letter
won't make you upset.
Does my poem remind you
of my cleverness?

that part doesn't rhyme.
oh mime.

You're going to Jamaica.
Please bring me a salt shaka.
For when I like to bake-a
even down by the lake-a.
Because they have great lakes
in Wisconsin, in the United States.
Where I will be soon, for goodness sakes!
The thought makes ma knees quakes.

So in Jamaica, mahn,
please play in the sahnd,
and get it in your hahnd,
and throw it to my lahnd.
I zank you.

When you are in Jamaica,
I will thank ya,
because I hate ya.
And that is a lie.
Truth is, I'll cry.
In the blink of an eye.
Again, a lie.
Because the blink 
will leave my eyes dry.
And kiss the tears goodbye.
Justin Bieber can borrow that line,
if he'll pay me in apple pie.
Well before this poem gets too dry,
I will have to say goodbye.

Goodbye.

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