The Cat in the Trash

I'm baaaack! That reminds me of that dinosaur movie. I like that movie. I can relate to it because I am hungry and intelligent and non-violent, just like those dinosaurs.
I haven't written anything in a long while and had a funny experience at lunch today that I wanted to recreate via song. I'm really nervous, and not much of a singer, but here it goes:

Lunch with the Kitty in the Trash

We were sitting at the table under the tree
Just minding our business, Mallory and Me.
When out from the bush by the library
strolls a little kitty-y-y-y-y.

While eating our lunches
We had hunches
That kitty wants lunches too (ooh ooh)
That kitty wants lunches too.

While sitting at that table under the tree
Just watching the kitty, Mal and Me,
We saw that kitty jump for glee
On the trashcan behind the library.

While eating our lunches
And watching cat lunges
We had hunches
That kitty will fall in soon (ooh ooh)
That kitty will fall in soon.

Speculating at that table under the tree
About how funny it would be
If the kitty on the trashcan fell gracefully
Into the trashcan's contents of food smelly.

Our hunches were right
With a look of delight
As we heard the kitty thumped
Because it overjumped
Right into that garbage oh-so smelly.
Locked away for time and eternity.
(cue "Smelly Cat" by Phoebe Buffay)

I think that is an appropriate way to end the song.
Just kidding. I will take the time to tell you how the story really ends in case there are shocked and tearful cat-lovers out there.

The Sequel: Lunch with the Kitty in the Trash Gets Out of the Trash

I was sitting at the table under the tree
Eating my lunch and laughing-ing
Mal poked her head around the trash with the cat
Afraid to put her head in and get scratched.

That trashcan had a lock and it had a lid
So if the cat jumped it might knock its head (pronounced "hid")
So what my pal Mallory did,
Was call Grounds Crew (oooh ooh)
That Mallory called the grounds crew.

We had a clue
That they had a tool
To let that kitty fool
Out of the trashcan (yeah, man)
They could let the kitty out of the trashcan.

While sitting at the table under the tree
Mal called the man, so heroically,
To let out the smelly kitty-y.
And then we waited patiently.

We had a hunch
That kitty had its lunch
And then it lunged
Or rather it plunged
Back into the bush behind the library.
Before the man came to rescue she.

Once again our friend, the kitty was free
It was able to jump, actually...
So our lesson as you can see
Is never underestimate one's abilities.
Never underestimate one's abilities.