The Cat in the Trash

I'm baaaack! That reminds me of that dinosaur movie. I like that movie. I can relate to it because I am hungry and intelligent and non-violent, just like those dinosaurs.
I haven't written anything in a long while and had a funny experience at lunch today that I wanted to recreate via song. I'm really nervous, and not much of a singer, but here it goes:

Lunch with the Kitty in the Trash

We were sitting at the table under the tree
Just minding our business, Mallory and Me.
When out from the bush by the library
strolls a little kitty-y-y-y-y.

While eating our lunches
We had hunches
That kitty wants lunches too (ooh ooh)
That kitty wants lunches too.

While sitting at that table under the tree
Just watching the kitty, Mal and Me,
We saw that kitty jump for glee
On the trashcan behind the library.

While eating our lunches
And watching cat lunges
We had hunches
That kitty will fall in soon (ooh ooh)
That kitty will fall in soon.

Speculating at that table under the tree
About how funny it would be
If the kitty on the trashcan fell gracefully
Into the trashcan's contents of food smelly.

Our hunches were right
With a look of delight
As we heard the kitty thumped
Because it overjumped
Right into that garbage oh-so smelly.
Locked away for time and eternity.
(cue "Smelly Cat" by Phoebe Buffay)

I think that is an appropriate way to end the song.
Just kidding. I will take the time to tell you how the story really ends in case there are shocked and tearful cat-lovers out there.

The Sequel: Lunch with the Kitty in the Trash Gets Out of the Trash

I was sitting at the table under the tree
Eating my lunch and laughing-ing
Mal poked her head around the trash with the cat
Afraid to put her head in and get scratched.

That trashcan had a lock and it had a lid
So if the cat jumped it might knock its head (pronounced "hid")
So what my pal Mallory did,
Was call Grounds Crew (oooh ooh)
That Mallory called the grounds crew.

We had a clue
That they had a tool
To let that kitty fool
Out of the trashcan (yeah, man)
They could let the kitty out of the trashcan.

While sitting at the table under the tree
Mal called the man, so heroically,
To let out the smelly kitty-y.
And then we waited patiently.

We had a hunch
That kitty had its lunch
And then it lunged
Or rather it plunged
Back into the bush behind the library.
Before the man came to rescue she.

Once again our friend, the kitty was free
It was able to jump, actually...
So our lesson as you can see
Is never underestimate one's abilities.
Never underestimate one's abilities.

Christian is HOME!!

Ah the day has finally arrived.
My dear brother is home, alive.

No, I am not writing another poem. But we are really excited Elder Kirkham is home! (The fact that those rhyme is just a coincidence). There was quite the crowd at the airport last night, many of them waiting for their missionaries. So when they all FINALLY came down the escalator (pretty much all of them came together), the crowds went wild! wooohooo!! Christian looks handsome as ever. It's great to have him back. He smelt a little funny though. But at least he knew it.

On the way home we saw some fires just off the highway, you know, the usual. Welcome back to America! Ahh we are on fire! That kind of thing. It is so much fun having my big brother around again. Now he can beat up the kids that make fun of me on the playground.

I will get pictures up when I find some. My camera is still kaput, so I'll bug my mom or something. Angel has uno photo on her blog. Check it out.

My Background Is Sassy

I hope you have noticed my lovely background. I chose it because the title is "Sassy." I have always wanted my background of my blog to have a title that reflects a little bit of myself, ever since before I even knew what a blog was and always thought people wrote "blobs." Ever since I was born. Finally, my wish has come true. Children, no matter what people say, wish on stars (both shooting and stationary) and wish when you blow out your candles and when you hold your breath the whole way through the tunnel and when the clock reads 11:11 and when you cross a black cat's path and when the fat lady sings (wish twice if she dances), etc. I have done all the above (simultaneously) and my wish came true. My background is "Sassy."
Dictionary dot com defines sassy as the following:

1. Rude and disrespectful; impudent.
2. Lively and spirited; jaunty.
3. Stylish; chic: a sassy little hat.
4. Bonnie: a sassy little chick
   

Just ignore the first one.

Children, when you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, if you're thinking of bein' my baby, it don't matter if you're black or white.
What I'm trying to say is, when you make a wish sometimes there will be little or big obstacles to distract you and then you will think you made a completely different wish and then it won't come true because it's not the wish you made in the first place on all those things which are guaranteed to make it come true like blowing your birthday candles and catching a falling star and putting it in your pocket but since it's not the one you made in the first place it won't come true and you are just holding your real original wish back from coming true by trying to make your fake wish come true. I hope everything is clear as a crystal now. Please observe the following true-life scenario:

One day my little sassy self had the opportunity to choose a new background for my blog. "Oh, my, this is like a wish come true!" thought meself. I browsed through cutestblogontheblock a little and lo and behold, found "Sassy," which described me to a B, maybe an A-. Just like I had wished when I blew out my first birthday candle years and years ago. Content with the new background and all it's stripey sassiness, I decided to just peruse through the others to see what other pretty backgrounds there were.
Bad idea.
Suddenly I saw all these other titles which sounded so appealing, (who cares if they looked good or not?) I saw "Uptown Girl (in Pink and lime)," "Sassy Dots," (not just Sassy, but Sassy Dots) and "Zebra stripes." The decision was suddenly so hard. I began to convince myself I wanted sassystripedotzebragirl all along. I saw "Olive Drab" but it sounded, well, drab... and I thought about "Birdy Love" because I love birdys...talk about tough decisions.
But then there were the obvious NO's: "What's cooking," and "Giddyup Garden." If you know anything about me, you'd know those are definitely not me. Someday when I'm a homemaker and I make my home, the words cook and garden will totally captivate me. Not yet.
So my mind was all a muddle, "I don't want THAT, oh but I do..." and "that is soooo me, wait, no it's not!" I wreaked my mind for a solution knowing that way back when, something on AFN taught me what to do in these kinds of situations. "Stop, drop and roll!" Wait...that's for a fire. Then it came to me. I stopped. I breathed. I counted to three. And I remembered: All I wanted was for my background to simply describe myself (there goes "Touch of Sweetness" and "Star Student"). I breathed again and counted to ten. I closed the website. "Sassy" is perfect.

And if I change my background, don't worry about it. Change is good.

Let's Celebrate!

My Birthday is coming up so I thought I would share a few of my favorites:

My favorite present: a new shiny mac
My second favorite present: a new shiny car
My third favorite: a new shiny tooth since the Dentist recently stole mine and charged me for it.

....just kidding.
My birthday is really a whole month away and I don't know what I want, so there.
Angel's birthday is coming up in a week though and she should probably tell me what she wants. I think the older you get, the nicer your presents should get too so you don't feel so bad for aging because you have all these great new toys. But it seems that as people get older they would rather forget it's their birthday and pretend they're still in their 20s or something. I was just talking to my Dad the other day and for a second he thought he was one year younger than he is. Then we did the math together...poor guy.

It's funny because (generally speaking) when you are younger you want to be older, when you are older you want to be younger, when you have beautiful curly hair you want straight, when you have beautiful straight hair you want curly, white people want to be tanner, and (Dani told me) some Africans actually want to be whiter...that's probably not the best example though.
Of course, this doesn't apply to everything but it's a pretty common thing. We'll call it, "wantwhatyoudonthavealiatitis."

Here is a crazy idea: be happy with things as they are.
"Happiness is not having what you want, it's wanting what you have"
So there! It's good to have dreams and goals and stuff so you are motivated to work hard but some things don't matter.
So all three of you who read this: want what you don't have.
(haha I mean want what you have of course! Or just like it or something.)

Thank you and Have a Nice Day

Countdowns (7 days...)

7 days...muahahaha. Seen "The Ring," anybody? Well I haven't but as the quote is quite famous I used it anyway.
Guess what? Dani came back from Africa early. She surprised me at work and then we hung out for the day just like old times! (Not that old...it was only 2-3 months that she had been gone). But it was fun! I missed that girl!
Today is July 30th. My brother will be home in one week. My sister will be here in two days.

My excitement for both is spilling over.

My room needs to be vacated and I'm nowhere close.

An Ode To My Blog

My dearest blog,

Please forgive me for neglecting you so.
Maybe I'm working or maybe I'm lazy,
That's no excuse for ignoring you though.
I have many thoughts and many stories,
I just don't know which ones to share...

And I'm afraid most of them are pretty boring.

There's the giant moth in the hall,
The cleaning lady who glares?
The lady that always uses the same bathroom stall
...she works downstairs.

Or there are those random times
When other working boys
Pay a visit to this office of mine.
They might be attractive, maybe not.
Maybe my copier really keeps breaking,
Maybe I just get lonely a lot.

I can only imagine how you might feel
When I don't feed you with my stories,
But some things you just don't want to hear.
But for our sanity's sake, I'll fill you in
With my adventures,
With what's been happenin.

Last weekend I went shopping with my Kaleigh-dear.
We sang, we danced, we bought things
And praised the sky that was oh-so clear!

Last night I saw the Harry Potter movie
I didn't plan on going so soon
But my friend had tickets so I said...groovy.
(I liked it...Snape makes me swoon)

Tomorrow I get my wisdom tooth taken out
Yes, I only have one (I'm an alien)
I look forward to drugs and not knowing what I'm talking about
(and a face more stout).

So, my dear blog, please forgive me,
I'll write more on my life.
Maybe I'll even write a melody.

Love Always,

Bonnie

Just a thought, if I maybe had more readers
I'd write more things for those readers to read.
So readers - comment so I know you exist...please.

How To Improve Your Summer

I'm a busy little camper. And a happy little bee.
And I sure have been busy.
Besides work, I play. And get bitten (bited, bot) by mosquitoes.

Based off my experiences, here are things I recommend the rest of the human population give a try:

1. New Student Orientation - Lead those new students around campus and give them a sneak peek of BYU's {insert whatever university here} greatness {use another adjective, preferrably with a negative connotation, if said university is not BYU} .
2. Softball Intramurals - Start off the Summer with a bang! ...and 2 losses in my case. It's very humbling. But it's co-ed :)
3. Go Outside - who cares if its been raining for the entire month, nothing is as therapeutic as the great outdoors. For ideas of what to do outside, read on. WARNING. Outdoors may also involve mosquitoes, who have decided to increase their population 10 fold this summer.
4. Play Volleyball - in the sand. Again, outside = character building, physically strengthening, and lots of smack talking/flirting.
5. Hike - Nothing like a little bit of sweat and a great view. All it takes is pushing through the muscle soreness and pieces of conversation (ex. excuse: I'm a little out of shape, okay?). Who cares if its been raining all month?
6. Camping - deer, bugs, hiking, feeling hardcore, dirt, great tan-lines, cold nights, starry nights, endless powerade, endless bathroom trips, birds, cookouts, s'mores, guitar/singing (kumbaya, this land is my land, etc.), ....need I say more?
7. Go Indoors - nothing like the great indoors. It's very therapeutic. Especially if it's been raining the entire month. For ideas, read on:
8. Phase 10 - or any game for that matter. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters who you're with. So if you're with the right people, fun is in order. Other family favorites: Catch Phrase, Apples to Apples, Chronology (who can beat Dad??), Cranium, and anything but Trivial Pursuit. Good thing Dad likes Chronology so much.
9. Watch a movie - Go catch a new show, like UP (but not Transformers 2 I'm told). Or thanks to Netflix, have a movie sent to your very own household where you can enjoy the company of select loved ones (aka "family time"). Might I recommend favorites such as "Annie Go Get Your Gun," "Annie," "Pollyanna," "The Sound of Annie's Music," "Wizard of Annie," "O Annie, Where Art Thou?" "My Fair Annie," or "It's A Wonderful Life."
10. Other - go to the dentist, sample food storage, babysit, buy another bridal shower gift, organize (it's character building, therapeutic AND fun), listen to music, make music, make food, sleep, read (see list of books I recommend, or ADD to it, even), mope (spelling error, I mean mop...as in clean), and love your life.

I hope everyone has a fabulous what's-left-of summer, although it'll be pretty hard to top mine. Just make sure you choose location carefully (smaller populations preferrable) and always wash your hands. Swine flu, people.
And don't get too friendly with them mosquitoes - apparently West Nile Virus has been discovered in Happy Valley. And if we all got West Nile it might have to be renamed to Unhappy Valley, and I would not want that to happen.